A response to 'FIve loaves and two fishes' and 'The power of praise changes things'

This is a testimony of God’s grace and love to me. I have decided to write after reading Grace’s article “Five loaves and two fishes” and “The power of praise changes things”.

I have always felt inferior to others and look upon myself as one with no accomplishes. I always feel that I can’t do much. I feel that everybody else can do more than me and can do better than me. To God, I feel as though I have nothing to give and I have no talents that I can use to serve Him. People I see around me have talents and have accomplishments and I envy. I always tell God that I am good at nothing and I can’t use anything to serve Him.

But God said to me that He will use my weakness to be my strength. 8 May was mother’s day; I was offered the job of planning and organizing this event in my church. I knew my strength was not on planning and organizing. I have not led big events before. I am not a front stage person, but with the encouragement of my leader, I took it up. I prayed and planned the event. There were many hiccups in the event and I started to feel incapable again. I felt small. I prayed and told God that I would give all I had for Him and His grace will see it through all, including my brothers- and-sisters-in-Christ who were involved.

Mother’s day came and we gave the performance and had a sumptuous lunch. I saw much laughter and smiles that day. I felt warmth in my church and I saw that many were touched. Mothers came to thank me. I know then, it was all by the grace of God. It was not my doing. I only gave Him all I had and He did the rest. I thank God for showing me that when I give Him every little that I have, He can use it for something greater. I also thank my sisters who have helped me in the planning and execution of various areas of the event. You all are mighty under the Hands of God!

Up till this stage, God has molded me a lot indeed. In the past 7 years, He molded me through many situations and lessons in life. I remembered in 2004, I prayed this prayer that God will teach me to love as Christ loves me. I could never imagine that this lesson took 7 years to be taught and in between were much tears and pains. There were many hard lessons and many things that I needed to put down.

The hardest lesson was from mid-2010 to the end of 2010. Many things happened in the 7 years including a cherished friendship of mine that had come to a stop. She was a close friend of mine, but because of many unhappy things and misunderstandings, abruptly she stopped contacting me in May 2010. Since then, I struggled to understand the situation I was in. I felt that as her friend, I did all I could to help, yet I was treated like that. She was overwhelmed with chagrin and felt that I could not do much more to help. I struggled with my emotions – guilt and anger. Few months later, I had a serious discussion with my mum and I ended up receiving hurtful words. I felt as though the burden and consequences of people’s actions and decision are on me and I had to carry it because no one else wanted to. It is as though the people closest to you broke a glass on the floor and you have to pick the shattered pieces slowly with your bare hands. No one was there to help you. Not even those who decided to break the glass.

I came to a point where I grew angry with God. I wanted to hate but God asked me to love. I wanted to give up but God asked me to come into His presence to rest. I wanted to be selfish and self seeking like others but God put in me unrest when I was disobedient to Him. I struggled.

Until one day, I gave up and told God, I surrender. He set three words in my heart and that was “pray”, “praise” and “thanksgiving”. He started to open my heart and eyes. Though, I was still struggling and everything that happened left a scar in my heart, I started to find rest in His presence as I praised and prayed as I found things to be thankful for each day. I started praising and I realized that I could worship God again. I started to praise and I found healing. I started to praise and I saw God holding me. I started to praise and I found joy which I l had lost a long time ago. It was not easy to start praising in all the pain, and when all my energy was drained. It was not easy to praise when ‘bad’ was all I see. But in the darkness, praise shines the light. Praise that comes from deep within, even in the darkest hour, It can be found.

Pray, praise and thanksgiving comes in order. Only when we pray and surrender, we find ourselves returning. Praise comes when we look to God even in the darkest hours. We see not, but our hearts are fixed onto Him. And when the light starts to shine peace and comfort, thanksgiving comes and we would want to pray more and praise more… beyond this, a cycle…

To Him who is able, be all glory!

Shadow of the cross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UQrxAEYpVo

Testify to love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9OZJpLYr8

Be encouraged!

God bless and with love,

Anonymous

The Word of the Lord is a fire

This is the third article the Lord wanted me to write.

In my vision, I saw a Bible, unopened, and fire spilled out from the pages. Then God said, “Open it.” I did so in my spirit and as I opened the Bible, the fire burst into flames and I said repeatedly, “The Word of the Lord is a fire”.

You may question the purpose of ‘fire’ in this article. What can a fire do? How is it relevant?

In Leviticus 13: 47 – 59, fire is used to burn away the clothes stained with mildew – a certain kind of mold or fungus. Verse 55 writes “Burn it with fire, whether the mildew has affected one side or the other”. Scripture advocates clearly that we must clothe ourselves with righteousness because God is a righteous God (Ephesians 6:14). Yet, oftentimes, our clothes of righteousness are stained with mildew. It becomes contaminated and unclean. Our desires or certain circumstances we face create a platform for the mildew to grow. Greed breeds the mildew; selfishness breeds it too. Hatred, anger towards someone has a similar effect. Hence, like in Leviticus 13, we must burn away the clothing and clothe ourselves with new clothes of righteousness. Then will we be clean in the sight of God. The Word of the Lord is a consuming fire that burns our stained clothing, even if only a fraction of the clothing is contaminated. The fire consumes all. This is because mildew can spread; our unrighteous thoughts and acts can multiply if we do not correct them.

In Psalm 119:105, it clearly states that God’s Word is a lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path. Fire is the source of light that lights our path, keeping us within the path of righteousness. The significance of fire is reinstated in Exodus 25:37, which writes that the light from the Lampstand lights the space in front of it. The light from the Lampstand is an important furniture in the tabernacle because it is the only source of light within the place. The tabernacle is a place of God’s presence. And the Lampstand is just like the Word of God that lights our path. This light keeps us in God’s righteous path.

Hence, we can see that the Word of the Lord is a fire that burns away our stained clothing, and lights our path, keeping us in God’s ways. It is necessary to meditate on the Word of God daily for it is a fire that burns and lights.

When was the last time you read the Bible? Or perhaps, have you strayed from God’s righteous path? Do you yearn to get back yet somehow you can’t? Take up the Lampstand, take up the fire, take up the Word of God, and allow God to grant you new clothes of righteousness that you may be able to enjoy in His presence. In God’s presence there is fullness of joy and at His hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11). And this, the world cannot give.

Open the Bible, and you will see the fire burst into flames. And your life in Christ will never be the same again.

Got it? Or rather, done it?

The power of praise changes things

It began one night when the young adults in my church gathered to pray last week. The Holy Spirit moved mightily and we began to pray for each other. The pastor prayed for some of us as well. As I was the projectionist-on-duty that night, I thought I wouldn’t be prayed for so I sat alone and just worshipped the Lord. To my surprise, the pastor came towards me and prayed. She said, “God wants you to write three articles, ‘the power of praise changes things’ and ‘the Word of the Lord is a fire’”. She did not mention the third but I knew what it was. It was the article I have written before this: ‘Five loaves and two fishes’.

This was the first time God used someone else to tell me the topics He wanted me to write. And it was challenging because I would try to relate almost everything I see or hear or feel to the topics. However, God showed me so clearly what He wanted me to write. And this, I give thanks.

Last Tuesday, I suffered from menstrual cramps which were common every time I had my period. However, the Lord was gracious and He said, “Praise me”. And so I did. I began to sing, “Worthy, worthy, worthy to receive all praise. Holy, holy, holy, You’re the Son of God. You are awesome, God of power, God of glory, come and fill this place…” I was following the song led by Paul Wilbur and I played it again and again. Nothing changed. The pain was still there. I began to tear and told God, “God, I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s too painful”. God once again showed me His grace and said, “Praise me”. And I obeyed. I continued to sing. And the pain got better.

The next day, I thought because I praised God, all the cramps would be gone. However, the pain was still there, yet there was something different this time. Each time I’d have my period, I would have diarrhea and menstrual cramps and that’s double the pain. And more often not, I would be too weak to move. This time, the power of praise changed this pattern. I did not have diarrhea and I found strength in God. This is the power of praise.

The same day, another miracle happened. I was offered two jobs. For the past few days, I was looking for a holiday job but to no avail. When I began to praise God, He provided. And when He provides, it is always in abundance. This is the power of praise.

The next morning, as I was doing my daily devotions, and Leviticus 3:14-16 struck me.

“From what he offers he is to make this offering to the Lord by fire: all the fat that covers the inner parts or is connected to them, both kidneys with the fat on them near the loins, and the covering of the liver, which he will remove with the kidneys. The priest shall burn them on the altar as food, an offering made by fire, a pleasing aroma. All the fat is the LORD’s.”

I wondered why the Lord took delight in the fats burnt in fire and I did a research on ‘fats around inner organs’. I found out that the fats around the inner organs such as the liver and kidney is highly active and continuously releases poisonous substances into the bloodstream. Then, I understood why the Lord wanted all the fat, or rather; all the fat belongs to Him.

The fats around the organs are harmful to the body and that relates to moments when we are in horrible circumstances such as illnesses, financial difficulties, broken relationships and the like. When fats around the organs remain there for a long time, it suffocates the blood vessels and harms the body. Similarly, when these ‘fats’ or problems remain in our minds and hearts, we will feel even more depressed and discouraged and at some point, suffocated. That is why God wants us to remove these ‘fats’ and turn them into praises. We burn these fats as an offering to God, which means we surrender to God all of us. This is the essence of praise. It is an act of offering that delights the Lord.

In verse 16 it says, “All the fat is the LORD’s”. This means that God deserves all the praises, not just when we are in good situations but also when we’re in the valleys. This isn’t easy at all. And that’s why God takes delight in our praises. By removing the ‘fats’ through praise, God removes the harmful effects on our body, which could be detrimental to our spiritual body as well. In bad circumstances, we are usually in our spiritual low. Hence, praises lifts our spirit man and edifies our spirit. This involves a shift in focus from our problems to God.

When we offer our praises to God, the offering becomes holy. And this can be seen in all the offerings recorded in Leviticus. God is holy, and He is a consuming fire. When our offerings become holy, all that is within us changes simply because the Holy Spirit within us consumes all our problems. We find strength in God through praise. And this delights the Lord.

Therefore, I challenge you my dear ones, to praise Him not just when you’re doing well, but when you’re down and crushed. For He takes delight in this; it is a pleasing aroma to Him. Praise, because the power of praise changes things.

Got it? Or, rather, done it?

Five loaves and two fishes

The story of the five loaves and two fishes always taught me to have faith that God works miracles. Never did I think there was more to that. The Lord taught me that His Word is active and living and this story spoke to me in the most awe-inspiring way.

Paul encouraged Timothy that God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). As a young boy, Timothy would have felt afraid of sharing the testimony of Christ to others who were significantly older than him. Like Timothy, I had to lead other believers who were my senior. The most recent is a Christmas musical in my church that I was in charge of. I started to write the script. I had put all of my heart into writing it and when it was brought to completion, I thought it was good. I thought my co-organizer would acknowledge my creativity and gift, but she felt it wasn’t appropriate. Though it was a constructive criticism, I was crushed. At that moment, I felt like giving up. I thought perhaps I didn’t have the gift to write the musical or even direct it. When I told God I wanted to give up, I didn’t want to do it anymore, and I didn’t want to lead, God responded. I was listening to “Five loaves and two fishes” by Corrinne May:

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

What more could I do? What more could I say? Tears rolled down and I said, “God, I surrender”. Overwhelmed, I responded to God and said, “Take my five loaves and two fishes, do with it as You will. I surrender. Take my fears and my inhibitions, all my burdens, my ambitions. You can use it all, to feed them all”.

“God, You knew I wanted to give up way before I started.”

Few days before, I was doing my daily devotion as usual and I read Exodus 36. The minute I began, the first verse struck me. It writes “So Bezalel, Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the Lord has given skill and ability to know how to carry out all the work of constructing the sanctuary are to do the work just as the Lord has commanded”. The Lord reminded me that He wanted me to write the article on this and that was days before. It was the time I came across Exodus 31:6, and it writes “Also I have given skill to all the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you”. I wanted confirmation from God and He was gracious to give me two: one in Exodus 36 and the other in Corrinne May’s “Five loaves and two fishes”. Praise the Lord!

I tried to lead, tried to serve, tried to share. But I failed. I thought I did and I wanted to give up. And God responded. He didn’t want me to give up just because I felt that whatever I was doing for Him was insignificant. Yet He bestowed His grace upon me so bountifully. He showed me His twinkling eyes and the kindness in His smile. He said that every tear I cry is a diamond in His hands. Through the pain I had to suffer while serving Him, He was in pain too. His heart ached more than anyone else’s, for one simple reason. And that’s He loves me.

Similarly, my dearest friends, brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ, you might have stopped working for Him because of the pain you had to go through. You told Him you wanna give up. But now, He has responded. And He says, “My grace is sufficient for you”.

Will you then respond to His grace? Will you sing “Take my five loaves and two fishes, do with it as You will. I surrender. Take my fears and my inhibitions, all my burdens, my ambitions. You can use it all, to feed them all”?

God takes delight in your service in His Kingdom. Nothing is too small. Nothing you’ve done for Him is insignificant because what He desires for is your heart more than anything else. He sees your heart. He knows the pain you’ve gone through, and more pain that you’d have to go through. He wants you to surrender to Him, rely on Him while you’re serving Him. He loves you so much that He is willing to carry your burdens. He already did, when he died on the cross.

Much has been said and the decision to persevere or give up lies with you. But now, I want to challenge you with a comment of the Youtube video on ‘Five loaves and two fishes’:

“I am surprised that many people of today are reluctant to give and serve even they have the resources; whereas the young and starving boy was willing to offer all he had- his needs- to Jesus, though he know it may not really do much good...

No contribution is too small...”

It encouraged me; I hope it encouraged you too.

Dearest ones, God sees your tears. He knows exactly what you are going through. And He says, “Whatever you’ve done is precious to Me. I can work miracles and all I need is your Amen. And I want you to know that no gift is too small. And because I have given you the gift to serve Me, You shall obey my command. My grace is sufficient for you.”

Be encouraged my dears, God is always with you. He is with you even though you choose to stay away. Serve Him as He has commanded. And remember, no gift is too small.

Got it? Or, rather, done it?

"Take My yoke, for My yoke is light"

I lied on my bedroom floor – overwhelmed. My body felt weak yet in my spirit, I called out to the Lord.

‘Father, I’m exhausted. Give me strength, Lord. Yet though I’m tired, I choose to put my trust in You, that You’d lift me up.”

My eyes closed tight, tears fell and I was still before the Almighty. Then, the Lord spoke.

“My precious one, why are you weeping? Why are you carrying your burdens alone? Cast all your burdens to me for I will surely give you rest. Take my yoke, for my yoke is light.”

For a transient moment, I felt someone standing behind me. And all of a sudden, a wave of heat came over me and an immense peace filled my heart. Thank You Lord!

The next day, I was playing the guitar and singing ‘With all I am’ (by Chris Tomlin) to God. Then, tears rolled down and He said, “Take My yoke, for My yoke is light. I want you to write about this.” That night, I asked the Lord for a confirmation if He really wanted me to write this. I said if He really wanted me to write, then He’d put this verse in my heart again the next day. And true enough, He did. I was doing my daily morning devotion as usual. I came across Exodus 22:27, “when he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.” Wow, let me tell you, God’s Word is living and active, truly sharper than any two-edged sword, and it pierced right through my heart.

“Take My yoke, for My yoke is light” declares the Lord.

I kept this topic and verse in my head till yesterday, 29^th April 2011. I cried out to God again. I was frustrated with many things and people. Chagrin gripped me. I lied on my bed, still before the Lord, and tears streamed down uncontrollably. Then, the verse Isaiah 40:31 flashed across my mind. I took my phone, ran the Bible application and read Isaiah 40.

Verse 31 says, “But they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.”

Then God said to me, “Remember the time I showed you an eagle carrying you on its wings? I am the eagle, and I will carry you through. Though I promised that you will experience miracles upon miracles this year, these things you face are necessary because I want you to write about them.” I saw in my vision that I was sitting on a very huge eagle and it took me and we were soaring in the sky (This was the same vision I saw before, written in my article “Visions from above”).

“Take My yoke, for My yoke is light” declares the Lord.

There is great significance to the verses in Matthew 11:28 – 30.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I could not comprehend why God used the object ‘yoke’ and why His yoke is easy and light. The Holy Spirit illumined my eyes to see that ‘yoke’ illustrates the wooden piece put across the necks of oxen pulling a cart. That yoke is heavy, and the oxen struggle to move. But when God uses ‘yoke’ and He says it’s easy and light, it is because when we put on His yoke, He is in control.

Imagining myself as an ox, I questioned why should there even be a yoke, can’t I just remove the yoke from my neck and I’d be free to do whatever I want, and go wherever I desire. If I do not have any yoke on my neck, it would mean that I’m a wild ox and it could be interpreted as ‘running away from problems’. So the Lord answered me, explaining that with my yoke I carry, I choose to be in control of my own life. But when I replace my yoke with His, then I choose to let Him be in control of everything.

God loves you. He gives you a free-will to choose though He knows what’s best for you. And what’s best is to acknowledge His Lordship and let Him take control over your life.

When God says, “Take My yoke, My yoke is light”, it requires complete surrender to His will and complete would mean all or nothing. Scripture advocates that God will make straight your path when you trust in Him with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in ALL your ways, acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:5 – 6).

Be assured, for God promised in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Take God’s yoke for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Got it? Or, rather, done it?