this article is written by dearest brother-in-Christ Vincent. I was overwhelmed with joy when I knew he had written this article. I believe God is using my articles to inspire others to write as well. It is my prayer that more will write their life testimonies and share them. If you are willing, I am more than glad to have your article posted on my blog. Indeed, through this blog, many will come to know Christ. Take heart dear ones and keep shining for Christ!
Here it goes:
Christianity started reaching out to me during my secondary school time. I remembered the first encounter was when a Christian girl approached me at Bedok Interchange. During that time, I thought I was so handsome that the girl approached me. And she asked, “Do you know why God gave you eyebrows?” I replied, “No”. She said, “Because when you perspire, the sweat will not flow to your eyes. God made every part of our body for a reason”. And she started telling me about what sin is and why Jesus died for us and so on... And in my heart, I thought to myself, “what rubbish is this…”
Many Christians reached out to me in many different ways. I went to a bubble tea workshop organized by some Christians and at the end of the event they started talking about God to us. I went for a basketball game with students from an Australian College. And they shared with us about God at the end of the game. My impression towards Christianity worsened as I felt that Christians always lure me to an event without telling me that they would talk to me about God.
I started dating Joanne during my polytechnic years. Back then, both of us were free-thinkers. Our relationship went smoothly for 1.5 year until one day on Bus 27, she told me that she was going to be a Christian; I strongly rejected it. I told her that if she became a Christian, our thinking will be different and that we might have many conflicts. During that time, I cared so much for our relationship that I often took things in my own hands and foresaw anything that might hurt our relationship. In the end, she still became a Christian.
We grew further and further apart from each other from then on. Subsequently, Joanne invited me to her church. During the church service, I did not enjoy the worship, I forced my hands to clap, forced myself to sing. The more I read the lyrics, the more doubts I had. When the pastor preached, my heart could not agree with everything he said. In my mind, I was challenging what the pastor was saying and that caused my doubts to grow stronger.
Joanne also started talking to me about God, but it always backfired. I would always challenge her with questions about God which was impossible for her to answer. I told her, “If God is so great, why did He allow disasters to happen?” I still remember one incident that made me really mad. Joanne passed her exam and she said, “Thank God that He helped me pass the exam”. I challenged her by saying, “If you didn’t study for your exam, would you pass?” She had nothing to say; she only remained silent. This made me even sure that I was right about God’s non-existence because she could not answer me.
Four months later, our relationship ended. My heart was full of hatred and I kept blaming God for our breakup. I scolded Joanne almost every day on Msn. My hatred for God grew even stronger.
I graduated from the polytechnic, went for National Service and then graduated from University after. It had been 4 years. I still maintained contact with Joanne and asked her if we could patch up for 7 times but she always rejected me. My hope in getting back with her grew lesser.
One day, I went back to my polytechnic for taekwondo training. Kelvin, who was our common friend, started asking me about Joanne. I told him that we had broken up for 4 years and I had been asking her to patch up many times but she didn’t want to. I told him I was going to give up. He advised me not to give up and try praying to God. In my heart I said, “What? Praying?” He said, “Yes, start praying and even ask Joanne to pray together.” In my heart I questioned again,” What? With her?” During our conversation, Kelvin also shared about his testimony and God. But I reacted differently this time round; I opened my heart and listened. Because I felt that this was the only hope I had left.
So immediately after training, I called up Joanne and told her that I wanted to meet up with her. When we met, I told her what Kelvin had shared with me about God and I asked Joanne whether we can pray together for our relationship. She didn’t say anything at that point of time. When I went back home, right before I slept, I knelt down and pray, “Err…I do not know who You are but I hope You can help me. I would wish to get back with Joanne as I really love her. It’s been 4 years and she rejected me 7 times. It seems so impossible to get back together again. Please help me… In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen”.
Joanne invited me to her church, Fruitful Vine Church (FVC) 7th Anniversary (2009). When I sat down and browsed through the brochure, I saw Joanne in every picture and in every event. She is dedicated towards the church and I felt that Joanne would want her partner to be like her, to be actively involved in Church. From then on, I changed my mindset from a challenging mindset to a willing-to-know-more-about-God mindset.
By wanting to know more about God, I attended FVC and also my friend’s church services. Even though I opened my heart and mind, and tried to accept God’s teaching, it was still a struggle to me because many things didn’t make sense. For example, when the pastor preached that God is able to give us strength and power, I felt that it’s just a mental boost. When I witnessed someone being slain by the Holy Spirit, I felt that it’s just a show. When people in church rose up their hands up during worship, I felt very eerie. When the church asked for offerings, I felt that it was a scam. The more I went to church, the worse it got, the more doubts I had. Overtime, I felt that I could not accept Christianity. I wanted to give up and forget about everything, since I had tried and I failed.
Few days later, my friend asked if I wanted to attend the Alpha 10-weeks Course conducted by a Church in St-Hilda Secondary School, which was catered for non-believers. I decided to give it a try. Before I went for the course, I had a lot of questions in my minds and I couldn’t wait for them to be unlocked. Over there, I learnt the fundamental of Christianity through videos. Somehow, I enjoyed the teachings from the videos and the sharing sessions. I felt more comfortable attending the Alpha course because I wasn’t the only non-believer there. I asked many questions and they tried to clear all my doubts. I always wanted to encounter God first, only then will I accept Him. During one of the sharing session, one of the organizers asked if I wanted to experience God. In my heart, I thought that he wanted to let me see God physically. So I said “Yes”. He brought me to another room and he led me to say the sinner’s prayer and after that, he said, “Congratulations, you are a Christian now.” I was like “What? That’s all?” but I thought I should let things be, that I would just be a Christian then. I accepted Jesus as my Savior there on 14 August 2009.
A miracle happened after that, Joanne accepted me on 19 August 2009. My heart rejoiced! This is a miracle to me and I thank God for His grace. From then on, praying to God became very real to me because I know now that He listens. He is a Living God who died for me on the cross and rose again after 3 days.
When I became a Christian, problems started pouring in. My dad opposed me of being a Christian and we quarreled for months. My friends felt that I became a Christian because of Joanne. I felt that I could not mix with my church friends too. But, I just prayed to God and somehow most of the problems were solved overtime.
Now, the way I handle my relationship with Joanne, is very different in comparison to the past. After my conversion, I had learnt not to rely on my own strength and understanding but rely on God’s ways. Whenever we have problems, we encourage each other with Bible verses and we would pray together. Our problems seemed so small each time we looked upon God.
I had always wanted to experience God first before accepting Him. It was when I accepted God as my Savior that I started to experience His goodness. I never regretted being a Christian “accidentally”.
Being a Christian is not as easy as I thought it would be but I will press on till the day Jesus returns or till the time the Heavenly Father calls me home. Press on, my dearest brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ!
Your Dearest Brother,
Vincent Tay
