I loved my grandma very much. All of us did. It came to a point where my grandma’s existence brought great pain. She was surviving on liquid food and oxygen tubes. I stood by the hospital bed, and thought to myself, “God, please take away all the pain. If it is time, take her with you. If it is not, restore her health.” This was all I could think of when I saw the agony written all over her face. I hoped she would recover and come back home with me. Yet, in my heart I knew that was it – it’s over.
Throughout the few months my grandma was in and out of the hospital, I struggled with God. I felt that everything went wrong and where was God really? Many times, I told the Lord, “I can’t do this anymore. I need your strength.” With all that was happening, my grandma’s hospitalization and my family shifting house, it was more than I could bear. I was overwhelmed and swallowed up that I started to feel breathless. I could not breathe well; I felt as if my heart had to pump thrice as hard. I broke down in tears. I cried, “I need you Lord…”
The Lord showed me a vision of my grandma on her deathbed. Two of my cousins and aunt were there by the bed at the hospital. I thought perhaps God was telling me He was going to take my grandma away. No, I was wrong. I did not know when the time was. It was a mere guess. Still, God is good. He filled my heart with joy and peace. He heard my cries and delivered me. More significantly, He allowed my grandma to remain hospitalized during the time we had to shift and pack for the new home. There, I was certain grandma was taken good care of by the angels that were by her bed. God is faithful; His mercy endures forever.
Few days later, grandma got better and could return to the new home. Just when I thought the worst was over, about a week later, she was hospitalized – again. I grieved. Just when would this all end? Questions after questions, yet God remained faithful. Each time I was in school, or in the hospital visiting my grandma, I could feel God’s strength upon me. I felt peace in my heart. And one night, I prayed, “Lord, won’t you show me the angels that would take my grandma to be with you in heaven?”
Days passed and 23rd October arrived. That morning, I asked the Lord, “Lord, what is my present from you? Are you gonna take grandma with you?” I gave no more thought to it and had a birthday celebration with my family at lunch. Then, we went to the hospital to visit my grandma – for the last time. My sister and I left the hospital at about 3.30p.m. At the lobby, we met my two cousins and aunt who were about to visit my grandma. I had mixed feelings that afternoon. My grandma, my birthday, doing my work at home on my birthday……I felt terrible. It was like the “damnedest” birthday. Just then, my sister received a call from my mom. Grandma had passed on. Was it for real? Was I prepared for that? What was going on?
Thoughts raced across my mind. Then, my mind went blank. How was I supposed to react? I didn’t know. Voices in my head cried out, “God! God!”
We rushed down to the hospital. Tears flowed down my cheeks. I whispered, “Thank you Lord……” Then I recalled. God had revealed all this to me through a dream weeks ago. In the dream, grandma was counting down to her death. I could recall vividly that from then to her death was 50 odd days. It all came clear to me. Those were the cousins and aunt that I saw in the vision. I should have known, really. I was just blind to the dream and vision God had revealed to me. But, I thanked the Lord.
I was overwhelmed with chagrin. God did not allow me to the see the angels that took my grandma to heaven. But, God is faithful and good. During the wake, the Lord reassured me through what my mom testified. She said, “If anyone sees angels receiving her back home to heaven, she would smile on her deathbed.” She testified that my grandma had died peacefully, with a smile on her face. Then, I knew. I thanked the Lord – once again.
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